How To Be Happy in Everyday Life

Added line is this color

Deleted line is this color

+10 KEYS TO HAPPINESS
+by Lynn Fowler.
 
+Don't pursue happiness as an end in itself. When it is chased, happiness becomes ephemeral, like a mirage that disappears as soon as you approach it. Happiness prefers to sneak up on us while we are focused elsewhere, and surprise us when it is least expected.
+
+That said, there are a number of things we can do to bring happiness into our lives. So here are Ten Keys to Happiness.
+
+1. Cultivate an "attitude of gratitude." Yes, I know it's trite, but it's also true. Instead of looking at all the things you don't have in life, look at the things you do have. 
+
+In Nepal several years ago, I was taken to meet a group of people who earn their living breaking stones. They quarry rock by hand using sledgehammers, carry it on their backs in huge wicker baskets to their work place, then sit all day in the open using an ordinary household hammer to break large chunks of rock into gravel. That is all life holds for them.
+
+It struck me forcefully at the time that any of us who have comfort, joy, meaning, hope or a future in our lives should be continually grateful, because a very large part of the world's population knows nothing but drudgery, hopelessness and pain.
+
+Gratitude is important for another reason. We draw toward ourselves the things we focus on most: if we focus on the negatives in our lives, we draw more of them to ourselves. When we focus on the positives, we draw positives to ourselves.
+
+2. LEARN CONTENTMENT. This follows from number one. It does not mean that we should forget our dreams and goals, but that we should learn to enjoy the journey. Stop along the way to "smell the flowers". Aiming for a better job? Great, go for it. But take time to seek out the good things about the job you have now, and enjoy them. Want a nicer house? That's fine, but first enjoy the one you have now.
+
+I live in a friend's granny flat. It is far from my ideal accommodation. I could spend all my time fussing and fretting about not having any space. Or I can delight in the fact that I have a warm, comfortable, pleasant home; that my view from the breakfast table looks out over seven acres of bushland where I regularly watch kangaroos and wallabies and all manner of beautiful parrots come and go; and that our "mini community" situation means that there is almost always someone nearby if I need them. 
+
+By doing the latter, I am not giving up my dream of owning my own home with lots of space, but while I am on the way there I am enjoying the journey.
+
+3. LEARN TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Again, this follows on from 1 and 2 above. Yesterday is past. Don't let its hurts or failures drag you down. Regret is one of the most wasteful emotions we can possibly have. We all make mistakes. In some cases, we will get a chance tomorrow to rectify them. In every case, we will have opportunity to learn from them. But we can never change the fact that we made them in the first place.
+
+The successes of the past can also hold us back. We found something that worked, and we don't want to change it. We found a place that was comfortable, and we don't want to move on. But unless we let go of the joys and successes of the past, as well as its hurts and failures, we will never be free to move forward and take hold of the things tomorrow offers us.
+
+I suggest a "good night" prayer: "Lord, today is over. I will never live this day again. With all its pleasure and pain, all its failure and success, I commit this day into Your hands. Tomorrow is a new day." 
+
+As much as the past can hold us back, the future can cripple us if we focus on it instead of the present. Worrying about tomorrow will not change it. There is a very good chance that the things we worried about will never happen. If they do, we are better to face them with a mind that is fresh, rather than one that is bleary from worry.
+
+4. ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. Life does not revolve around you. The world does not owe you a living. And, as surprising as it may seem, everyone is not wondering what you think, feel, want. Accepting this frees you from performing to the expectations of others. It also frees you from imposing unrealistic expectations upon others, and being disappointed when they do not meet those expectations.
+
+5. LEARN TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THOSE THINGS THAT ARE YOUR PROBLEM, AND THOSE THAT ARE NOT. The reality is, you will never be able to change another person. If you are in a problem relationship, the only person you can change is you. You are responsible for yourself. You are responsible for your choices. You do not do the things you do because your mommy spanked you or didn't spank you, or because she got potty training wrong, or because you were abused, or because of any of a million other factors in your life history. You do the things you do because you choose to do them. You are responsible for your choices.
+
+You are not responsible for someone else's choices - no matter how close the "someone else" may be to you. You may point out to them the error of their ways. You may suggest a better way of doing things. But if they still choose to do something of which you disapprove, it is not your problem. Learn to let it go and rest on their shoulders, nor yours. 
+
+6. FIND WHO YOU REALLY ARE. In counseling, I am amazed by the number of people who really have no understanding of themselves, their personalities, and the things that make them tick. They are trying to live life as somebody totally different to who they are.
+
+Visit your library and get some good books on personality types. One I recommend is True Colors by Roger Birkman. The aim is not to become focused on ourselves and end up pushing true happiness away from ourselves, but to become naturally the true person God created us to be.
+
+When you are applying for a job, for instance, ask yourself, "If I have to pretend to be someone I am not in order to get this job, how happy am I going to be doing it if I am successful?"
+
+7. PRACTICE FORGIVENESS. That grudge you hug so closely to yourself is not hurting the other person. It is hurting you. 
+
+Thirty years ago I used to minister in a nursing home in Sydney. As well as conducting a weekly service, my work involved going around the wards and talking to the ladies. Sadly, there were some who, on every visit, would regale me with stories of the great injustices done to them fifty years before by their children/ neighbors/ friends. They had never forgiven, and the pain of those events was as fresh as it had been when they first happened.
+
+When we hold unforgiveness, we give the person who hurt us the power to go on hurting us for the rest of our lives. When we forgive and release them, we also release ourselves to receive healing for those wounds. 
+
+8. BUILD RELATIONSHIPS. That means being prepared to be a little vulnerable. Each of us has a deep-rooted hunger for meaningful personal relationships. Sadly, many people have been hurt and have put up walls to protect themselves from further hurt. The problem is, when we put up walls to stop people from hurting us, we also cut ourselves off from that intimacy of relationship we need.
+
+Take the time to really get to know people. Listen to their heart. Don't be anxious to jump in and give your thoughts, feelings or experiences. Really listen. Then allow yourself to step into their shoes and begin to understand them.
+
+Then go further. Touching people will only take us so far. It is possible to touch someone - even deeply - then move on and never have contact again. We need more than that. Humans are communal beings. We are not designed to be islands. We need other people. Relationships take work. They take time. They take selflessness. There is no such thing as a 50/50 relationship. In any relationship there will be times when you have to give 99%. Yet for all that, the rewards of genuine relationship far outstrip the costs.
+
+9. GET ACTIVE IN YOUR COMMUNITY. In every community, and every organization, the bulk of the work is carried out by a very few people. Volunteers are needed in all sorts of areas, there is sure to be a match for something that interests you. If you are not sure what opportunities are available, contact your local library or the local government authority. 
+
+10. FIND SPIRITUAL REALITY. If you remove the reality of eternity, life is pretty depressing. If life here on earth is all there is, no matter how great it is, it will eventually end and there will be nothing left. This is true not only on a personal level, but on a planetary level. If there is nothing beyond this life, then no matter how much we try to improve life on this planet, one day it is all going to go bang, and all our effort will be gone. Without spiritual reality, any happiness we find is but a fleeting pleasure.
+
+The good news is, this is not all there is. God is real, and in finding Him we can find not only temporal happiness, but eternal joy.